Dragon Age: Origins Playthrough - The Circle Tower

Amastacia somehow found a promising lead on the Urn of Sacred Ashes, but Arl Eamon looked pretty comfy on his deathbed last we checked. It'd be rude to disturb him. That just leaves the Circle and Orzammar as our remaining treaties. One area we know well, the other is completely alien to us. Off we go to harass the mages!

We're bringing Sten along because he mentioned something about losing his sword at Lake Calenhad, where the Circle is located. Not sure if that's a euphemism, but I sure don't want to think about it too hard. Zevran joins us too, because we'd like to see if he's a better rogue than Leliana. Lastly, Morrigan... because she's an illegal mage who hates the Circle so clearly she'll be comfortable with meeting them.

The first person we meet, however, is a looter. He tells us to scram cause he bought this spot fair and square. We congratulate him on his new land purchase. Confused, he says he just paid a guy for looting rights because apparently there were some dead Qunari here... at which point he realizes we have a live one with us. He immediately sells out the guy who found the sword and says he hangs out near Orzammar. So I guess Sten's sword will have to wait.

 

Normally, I'd rough you up for good measure... but you already look like you got kicked in the head by a horse.

We continue to the dock for now, where there's one boat that can be used to reach the Circle tower (which was built on an island in the middle of the lake). Unfortunately, the dock has a Templar on it, too. His job is to get in our way. We flash the Grey Warden documents and he claims to be Queen of Antiva. We claim to have business with the mages and he says that's impossible. His job is to stop unauthorized people and since he's stopping us, we must be unauthorized.

This guy is a master of non-sequiturs. That's supposed to be our job, damn it. We tell him we're getting mad so he immediately backs down and shows us to the boat. He and Amy are more alike than they'd care to admit.

We will duel to the death in a deleted scene. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

Finally arriving at the Circle Tower, we find Knight-Commander Greagoir telling his Templars to lock the place down and keep anything from getting out. These guys take curfews seriously. Noticing us, he demands to know why we're here and we tell him we're just exploring. Unamused, he says there's nothing to see now that the tower is swarming with abominations. Ooh! Those sound like they'd be a great addition to our Grey Warden army! Greagoir doesn't like that idea, either. He assures us there will be no mages left to assist us once the Templars are granted the Right of Annulment and they "cleanse" the tower.

We know what cleanse means from Denerim. Cleanse means "paint with blood". Amy's good at that. We tell Greagoir we can handle it ourselves. He's doubtful, but says that if we eliminate the need for Templars to die fighting mages, he will pledge his support to fight darkspawn instead. Charging in with no backup sounds like a great plan to Amy. It's a deal.

"...I should probably stop him. On the other hand, he might kill ONE demon before getting slaughtered. Good enough for me."

One of the Templars shakes his head in disbelief as he shuts the door to the Tower behind us, and we get busy ransacking the place. Unfortunately, the damned apprentices keep their stuff locked up. Okay, Zevran, time to show those rogue skills!

...It turns out Zev has no skill in picking locks, stealing things, or moving stealthily. Basically, he fights up close with two weapons like Amy but he's way more fragile. This was a great plan.

Of course, you could give him a bow... but he has no skills in archery, either.

Moving on, we discover that someone else is fighting abominations in the tower: an older woman named Wynne, whose impressive magic takes down a rage demon before our eyes. As we enter, she turns and threatens us, probably mistaking Amy for an abomination. Understandable. We tell her we're not going to kill her; the Templars can do that for us. Realizing the Templars intend to annul them, she says there's still time to take back the Tower and prevent it. That sounds like too much work. We want to go ahead with Annulment but she says if the Tower is truly lost, she wants to see it for herself. This is another one of those people who won't shut up until she gets her way, isn't she? Fine. You can kill demons with us.

Morrigan, however, is shocked at Amy's lack of senseless violence exactly when she was counting on it. Blinking slowly, we ask her why she doesn't like Circle mages. She's more than happy to repeat her previous rants to us about how they allow themselves to be caged and they deserve death if they accepted a master who wants them to die.

...Oh. Sorry, we forgot. Never mind, Wynne.

Once Wynne realizes we're friends with an illegal mage, she's more than happy to give Morrigan the fight she wants. Unfortunately for her, she's fragile and falls down pretty quickly. With Morrigan's hatred temporarily subdued, we press on and find that the halls of the Circle Tower are practically stuffed with demons and abominations. Admittedly, these are greater numbers than Amy was expecting but with him and Sten being as well-armored as they are, the attacks don't faze them much.

NOTE: The battle looks much more awesome here than it did when I played through it.

Amy continues to slash his way through the tower, opening every unlocked chest he can find and fiddling with all the unsupervised experiments along the way. At one point, he summons an extra demon for good measure. The real prize, however, comes when we find the First Enchanter's office. Inside an unlocked chest is a large, black and evil-looking spell book. It's all gibberish to Amy so he nonchalanty hands it to Morrigan and keeps looking for treasure.

Morrigan is stunned to see that Amy has just handed over her mother's grimoire. She gleefully says she will begin studying the dark secrets within it immediately.

...Maybe that wasn't the best idea in retrospect. Oh, well. At least she's happy for once.

As we're headed for the top levels of the tower, we enter a room where a mage is laying at the feet of an abomination-- asleep, not dead. The demon-thing tells us we must be tired of all this fighting and we deserve a rest. Amy realizes he's forgotten his manners. This must be the designated nap hour here in the Circle Tower. His companions try to tell him that the demon is trying to trick him, but he's already asleep by then.

 

Using his demonic powers, he removed the "JUST STAB THIS THING" option from the dialogue. Or something.

So, after a long section of gameplay that has us hacking demons apart, the game decides to give cutscene power to a random sloth demon and put us on the railroad to Something Completely Different. Our dwarf is now imprisoned in the demon's personal corner of the Fade without his companions. To escape, he must use a combination of strength of arms and shapeshifting into a mouse.

Yeah. I don't get it either. Many fans of this game loathe this section due to all the backtracking and the sudden loss of party members. As a warrior, we won't have much trouble going it alone... but if you designed your Warden to be the party healer? Good luck.

We start in a dream of the Grey Warden headquarters of Weisshaupt, where Duncan is alive and proud to say that not only was the Archdemon defeated, but we also set the Deep Roads ablaze and burned up every last darkspawn, ever. Amy says this world is boring as hell now. He's going to find some bandits to slaughter, or something. "Duncan" calls him a fool and says if all he wants is death, that's what he'll get. We slay the illusions easily and a pedestal appears which transports us further into the Fade.

Nice try, demon... but the real Duncan doesn't have a Photoshop filter.

The only island we can access leads to a wasteland occupied by a mage named Niall, the guy we found passed out asleep earlier. He says he was trapped here on his way to stop the blood mages and although he escaped the first illusion like us, his path has been blocked ever since. We decide to give it a go ourselves. We don't find a way out, but we do see a demon attacking a large mouse, so we step forward to stop it. There's no food here, after all... that mouse might be tasty if we can find a campfire and some salt.

The mouse, however, teaches us how to turn into a mouse ourselves and then vanishes. Awesome! Now Amy can cook and eat himself! At least, he would if he had a proper campfire. Maybe later, he thinks to himself, and goes back to the Fade pedestal.

Behold... (sigh) our new secret weapon in the war against the darkspawn.

Here's where things get annoying. There are five islands (including mouse island) surrounding the sloth demon's inner sanctum. Each island has a lesser demon on it, holding the portal to the inner sanctum closed. Defeating these demons also opens portals to the areas where your companions are stuck in dreams of their own, so you can free them before confronting the sloth demon.

To reach the demons, however, you have to bypass different kinds of obstacles... that can only be overcome by learning new forms to shapeshift into. In theory, this sounds kind of interesting but in practice, you wind up scurrying through mouse holes, trying to decipher your map and determine if you've really explored all you possibly can. It could be that you need a new shapeshifting ability to progress, but it's also possible you missed a mouse hole a ways back that leads you to a new form... and without that new form, of course, you won't get anywhere on the other islands.

It's possible to do this section without a guide, but it's frustrating-- especially given the relatively linear nature of the rest of the game. For those who are diligent, there are permanent increases to your attributes to be found... but deciding between finding them or getting the hell out of the Fade ASAP is a constant struggle.

How badly do I want to poke this glowing training dummy with a stick? ...This is a harder choice than I thought.

Anyway... nothing interesting story-wise here. We eventually find our companions: Morrigan is not fooled by the illusion of Flemeth, as the demon has mistaken her for a compassionate soul. Sten isn't fooled by the illusion of his brothers-in-arms, as the memory of their deaths is etched into his mind. Zevran, meanwhile, is having a kinky torture dream. Eww. With them freed, we proceed to the demon's inner sanctum, and Mr. Sloth tries to tell us he tried really hard to create enjoyable illusions. Well, you failed, man. You failed hard. The demon gets vanquished with extreme prejudice.

With him gone, not much is standing between us and Uldred, the leader of the blood mages. We find a Templar named Cullen who thinks we're illusions but we tell him we're just here to kill mages and ask questions later. He accepts us as a kindred spirit. Another Templar is under the thrall of a busty demon with flaming purple hair. We are SO sick of cats! We kill her and her pet Templar before she can attempt to parley.

The top of the tower is a disturbing sight. Uldred is torturing the remaining Circle mages and turning them into abominations when their wills are broken. He turns to us as we enter and asks what we want. Thoroughly creeped out, we tell him we'll be going now. He says that's rude and we should get possessed by demons as punishment. Uldred turns into something big and nasty in an attempt to do so, but we're so experienced at killing abominations at this point that the best he can do is corrupt a couple of other mages to fight for him instead. Sten and Amy prove to be the better meat shields.

When your strategy has degenerated to "hope the minions don't die too fast", that's not a good sign.

First Enchanter Irving gets up slowly, relieved that it's over. We let him think everything is fine as we march him down the tower to Greagoir. It is here that he learns the Templars have written this Circle off as a lost cause and his "saviors" are totally cool with that. Irving glumly says he will do what is best and cooperate with the little inquisition. Morrigan is positively beaming.

Greagoir promises to heed our call to battle once his Templars are finished hosing down this bloody tower. With that, two of our four armies have been assembled! Where to next? It seems like Eamon needs those sacred ashes as soon as possible... but Amy just remembered he was supposed to be running the carta in Dust Town by now. Our dwarf's going home.

Dragon Age: Origins Playthrough - Soldier's Peak

Happy with his gold sovereigns... for now... Amastacia gets back on the road to Soldier's Peak. Levi guides us through the tunnels and eventually, we find ourselves standing before an impressive castle. Upon entering, we discover that this place has a bit of a ghost problem that needs to be sorted out before we move in. Visions of the Wardens' last moments hound Amy as he searches for valuable loot and Levi keeps asking if we see what he's seeing. We have to keep telling him to shut up and focus on shiny objects... and the fact that we keep getting attacked by skeletons... but mostly shiny things.

"Hey! I'm providing some very important exposition, dwarf! Don't pretend like you didn't notice!"

Our exploration eventually leads us to a chamber that shows that the ghost problem was just this castle's way of warming us up for even worse news. We see a vision of Levi's ancestor, Sophia Dryden, fighting the king's soldiers with her mage ally, Avernus, behind her. She directs him to summon a small army of demons to assist them, which goes about as well as you'd expect. The demons refuse Avernus' orders and start killing everything. The strongest among them tells Avernus he has managed to tear a hole in the Veil of reality itself, and the mage runs like hell when he hears that. Sure enough, the glowing tear in the Veil is still in this room and Amy has no tasteful curtains that he can use to cover it up.

After vanquishing the demons that have come through the tear, we make our way to the commander's office and find Sophia Dryden still locked inside. Unfortunately, she was possessed by a demon after Avernus abandoned her. The demon makes a simple request: it will close the tear in the Veil and make Soldier's Peak safe for us to inhabit if we let it keep Sophia's body. At this point, we know of no other way to close this demon portal and it would be unwise to screw up what could be our only chance. So, Amy stabs the demon out of her body and takes her fancy armor. Curtains. That's our solution. Gotta find 'em.

That shade of purple is hideous in this room!  ...Also, a demon came through the purple thing and possessed the old Warden-Commander.

We find a door leading to Avernus' old part of the fortress and battle through some more undead on the way. A disturbing room full of blood stains awaits us, the site of Avernus' many experiments to unlock the secrets of Grey Warden blood. ...We're sensing a theme of "blood" and "magic" here. It's probably a coincidence.

Near Avernus' research logs is a flask filled with a dark liquid. The logs detail just how horrible the experiments were, but Amy can't read too well when he's thirsty. He grabs the flask off the table and chugs it like it's ale. The searing pain that follows tells him that definitely wasn't ale. It's a potion Avernus made to empower the magic in a Grey Warden's blood. Amy scribbles something in the logs about the potion needing more fruit flavor, and moves on.

The next room is Avernus' chambers and much to our surprise, he's still here... and not possessed by a demon. He senses that we have Grey Warden blood, and explains that his experiments have increased his lifespan significantly. When he asks why we're here, Amy tells him he only came because a total stranger asked him to. Levi Dryden then asks if any of his family records remain intact and Avernus regrettably informs him he's out of luck. 

"You're telling me I spent all that time convincing people to buy this DLC, and I don't get a damned thing out of it?!"

 
Avernus is more concerned with repairing the damage he did to the Veil however, and insists that we discuss his horrible ethics after all the demons are dead. Amy starts to mention the fruit flavor thing, but Avernus is already walking out of the tower, toward the tear in the Veil. No wonder people hate blood mages. Their manners suck!

Back in the main fortress, Avernus begins the process of closing the summoning circles. The demons aren't happy about that, and make a final push through the tear to stop us. Rage demons, shades, wraiths and even a desire demon shows up, but the attacks bounce off Amy's new armor and the Veil is repaired.

His work done, Avernus says he'll be happy to stay in his tower and conduct more grisly experiments to help the Wardens. Unfortunately for him, Amy still hasn't gotten the foul taste of that energy drink out of his mouth. He decides the mage had outlived his usefulness and kills him, too.

 

I don't care about the ethics of your experiments... but as a person, you creep me out too much.  DIE!

Levi parts ways with us a little disappointed, but says he'll stay at Soldier's Peak and provide what support he can to the Wardens. Whatever, Levi. We have some new armor and a belly full of blood that need to be washed down with something mystical and fruit-flavored… and we know just the place to get it.

Mages of the Circle Tower! I seek a legendary potion of ambiguous fruitiness! The Grey Wardens demand your assistance!

Dragon Age: Origins Playthrough - Denerim, Part One

Our campsite continues to attract new visitors.  Upon returning, we see a Dalish clan liaison and some supply crates that can be used to donate materials to our allies. The elves are good at making potions and poisons, so collecting weeds found in the countryside and throwing them in a box will make them happy. It's an elf thing, I guess. Our dwarf doesn't question it.

There's also a visitor who has been around for a while, but I haven't mentioned him yet: Levi Dryden, a man who claims that Duncan promised to do him a favor before he died at Ostagar. Amastacia tries to get dead people's friends to honor their promises too, so we get along nicely. He says there's a fortress called Soldier's Peak that used to be a Grey Warden stronghold and we'd be welcome to use it again if we go with him to find evidence that his family used to be nobility.

(INTERLUDE: I know I said I wasn't going to talk about this, but I should mention at this point that if you haven't purchased the Soldier's Peak downloadable content, this conversation will lead you directly to a storefront page to pay real-world money for it. This character stays in your camp until the quest is completed, effectively making him a pop-up ad in human form that you can't get rid of. I generally don't complain about extra content for a game-- if you don't want to pay more money, you can just ignore it-- but I hate the way that Electronic Arts implemented it in this case.)

 

"I know it's annoying, but my family name is dirt right now and I have to pay the bills somehow. Buy my DLC!"

Naturally, Amy is willing to put the whole quest to build an army and fight the darkspawn on hold to do this completely unverifiable favor. We take Morrigan, Leliana and Shale on the road north... but in order to get to Soldier's Peak, we have to pass through Loghain's stronghold: the city of Denerim. That's not a problem! It's a big city. I'm sure there are plenty of hideous-looking dwarves with face tattoos there and I won't get recognized.

Before Amy even reaches the city of Denerim, however, a woman runs up to him on the road and says her wagon is being attacked by bandits. We run up the road to see if there's any good loot left, but instead we see a group of armed men, along with a handsome blonde-haired elven man. He gives a signal, and a henchman on a hill nearly crushes us with a log. They then draw their weapons, only to have their ambush routed by Amy, his personal golem and his two lady friends.

"Crap... I changed my mind. You never seeing me again after that cut scene was a much better idea."

Our dwarf finds the elf laying on the ground, barely breathing, his fine-looking blades beside him... and immediately decides this poor guy was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. We wake him up and, surprised to be alive, he asks what we intend to do with him. We tell him we're going to torture him because that's a funny joke as far as Amy is concerned. The elf assumes we want information and decides to save us the trouble by admitting he is Zevran, an Antivan Crow hired by Teyrn Loghain to hunt down and kill Grey Wardens. Having failed, his order will kill him if they find him alive so he asks to fight alongside us instead.

This comes as something as a shock to Amy. Firstly because apparently hideous tattooed dwarves are less common than he thought, and secondly because there was no way he could have known this elf was an assassin! Regardless, he appreciates someone whose loyalties shift as rapidly as his own and welcomes Zevran to the team. Morrigan points out the obvious possibility that Zevran is just trying to buy himself another opportunity to finish the job but that thought hadn't crossed Amy's mind. Leliana welcomes him however, and Zevran decides that means he can flirt with her now. Shifting loyalties and questionable social skills, huh? I think he'll fit right in.

We'll travel with Zevran eventually but for now, Amy is headed to Denerim with his golem in tow because that will certainly help him blend in with the crowd. You would think we would be stopped at the city gate, or at least soon after entering the market district, but the guards don't appear to be interested. We decide to tempt fate by walking up to a sergeant, pointing at him and warning, "don't even try to arrest me."

"Uh... I'm pretty sure you broke at least one law just now, but... you know, I really don't care."

"Are you kidding?" he replies, "Even if I gave the order, my men would wet their breeches and leave me by lonesome! As long as you don't cause trouble in the market district, we don't have a problem."

The only part of that sentence we heard was "cause trouble in the market district." So, we approach a shady-looking individual named Slim Couldry who recognizes us from our wanted poster (again, HOW??) and asks us if we're interested in working with him. Sounds like a great way to avoid suspicion. We slip him a bribe of 50 silver coins and he tells us he saw a courtier in a green dress in the main square with a hefty bag of gemstones. Amy's not a rogue, but his time in Dust Town taught him a thing or two about cutting purses and we easily liberate this woman from her gems.

"Stick with me, master dwarf! I'm as good at picking victims as I am picking nicknames for myself!"

It turns out there's plenty of paying work in Denerim if you're not too picky about who you're dealing with. A man with a funny hat is hanging out in one of the many back alleys, with a bag full of requests from mages who have left the Circle for various reasons. Among the many tasks is a job that requires us to smear ox blood on a few doors. Like Amy needs a reason to do that. We take the ox blood and head off.

Having completely forgot about his quest to vanquish the darkspawn and mad with a lust for gold, Amy accidentally enters a house that he's not supposed to paint with ox blood (or was he just supposed to smear it on the door? Doesn't matter). Undaunted, he decides to root through the valuables for treasure before the occupant tells him that the back room of the house is off-limits because Brother Genitivi is a very private person. I feel like we've heard that name before... oh well. We reassure whats-his-name that we're just exploring and won't mess anything up. The man attacks when we try to force our way through the door and we leave him in a pool of his own blood.

NPCs in this kind of video game rarely object when the main character wanders into their house and starts looking for treasure.

This one objected. Now he's dead. Are you learning an important lesson, NPCs??

Upon entering the back room, Amy sees a dead body-- and the weird part is, it's not one he's responsible for. It turns out that the guy we just stabbed was impersonating Brother Genitivi's assistant in order to hide the fact that Genitivi found a solid lead on where to find the Urn of Sacred Ashes. Oh! That thing Teagan wanted! If anyone asks, we totally meant to do all this. We're good like that.

Denerim is so large that it has its own map and we have to pass through some bad sections of town in order to get to the houses that need to be marked with ox blood. We inevitably run afoul of bandits as a result, but that's okay because the Chantry was looking for someone to clean up the streets anyway. Our definition of "clean up" apparently involves getting blood, ox and otherwise, everywhere... but the Chant of Light isn't literal, right? You need priests to interpret it. We assume the same is true for the jobs they give out.

While heading back to the market district to collect some gold, another shocking twist occurs: the city guard, who weren't supposed to be riled up unless we caused trouble, have heard that we're stealing things and decide to arrest us. Amy doesn't see the problem. It's not like he was caught! In any case, this goes about as well as you'd expect for the guards and the streets are a whole lot "cleaner" by the time we're done.

Truly, this slum is a thing of beauty now that I've killed everyone in it.

So, Amy gets to collect gold from both the Mages' Collective and the Chantry for his ox blood-fueled destruction and wonders to himself why the hell he didn't come here sooner.  Unfortunately, he's wasted the better part of a day showing his face aroud roughly half of the city... and we're no closer to accomplishing our recruitment goals for the Grey Warden army, let alone doing that favor that put us on this road in the first place.  Happy with his gold for now, Amy decides he's better look into this fortress of questionable value called Soldier's Peak.

...Right after he visits an establishment called The Pearl.

Dragon Age: Origins Playthrough - Brecilian Forest

Now that things have calmed down in Redcliffe, we find ourselves faced once again with an array of options. Bann Teagan seems to think that we should go to Denerim to chase down leads on Brother Genetivi, a scholar who apparently had promising news about the Urn, but we still have these treaties to exploit too. As a dwarf, Amy has never heard of the Dalish elves, and has no ideas whatsoever about where they can be found... so that's the group we're going after next. Thankfully, the "Brecilian Forest" is marked on our world map so finding these nomadic elves won't actually involve wandering aimlessly through the woods. A funny thing happens on the way to the forest, though....

Dragon Age: Origins includes a random encounter feature that provides you with one of several possible events that happen to your party on the way to their destination. In this case, Amy runs into a group of villagers crowded around an Axe in a Stump. This is no ordinary axe as far as the locals are concerned, though. This is a magical axe that can only be retrieved by the true ruler of Thedas. There are obvious references to both the Sword in the Stone and Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail here, and the encounter is incredibly rare. As a champion of improbability, however, Amy pulls the axe out to the amazement of the villagers and proudly puts it in his inventory.

After some more walking, Amy comes face to face with a Dalish patrol that is understandably suspicious of this ugly dwarf and his companions (Morrigan, Leliana and Shale, for the record). Amy chides them for not being hospitable and the Dalish scout sternly reminds him that the elves have been enslaved by humans, and they don't take kindly to that. He reassures them by saying he has business here, which the scout is also doubtful of, but eventually the "Grey Warden" title is dropped and we are reluctantly allowed to meet with the Keeper of this tribe.

I'm also voiced by the guy who played Tuvok on Star Trek: Voyager. If you don't like me, that may be why.

 

The Keeper's name is Zathrian and apparently he's been the leader of this tribe for quite some time. He suspects we're here about the treaty his people signed with the Grey Wardens and calmly explains that they're in no position to honor this promise. He directs our attention to a number of elven warriors writhing in agony after running afoul of werewolves and being inflicted with lycanthropy. Amy fails to see the problem because in his mind, this means he'll have access to an army of werewolf elves. Zathrian reminds him that lycanthropy turns people into mindless, raging beasts that don't take order no matter how nicely you ask them. Amy understands, and decides he had better look for help elsewhere.

By "elsewhere", Amy means "elsewhere in this immediate vicinity". We take a walk around the Dalish camp to see if anyone is more helpful. The master craftsman is willing to barter with us and there's a Dalish woman who's nice enough, but she's hanging out with some really weird-looking deer called halla and doesn't want to talk about our ancient treaties. There's also a novice hunter who has never seen a dwarf before and is clearly nervous about the possibility that he might offend us. We politely shout at him to stop stammering, but this does us no good. So, with great exasperation, we tell Zathrian that we're willing to end the werewolf menace if that's what it takes to get Dalish help.

Zathrian tries to warn us that there are dangers in the forest beyond just werewolves, but we're too eager to use our new axe of destiny to heed these warnings. There's a nice variety of enemies to slaughter in the Brecilian Forest, ranging from wolves and werewolves, to bears, to angry trees and finally more darkspawn, just in case we forgot that they're the main threat in this game. After some aimless slaughter, we cross a bridge and encounter a werewolf named Swiftrunner who... talks to us. He's as confused as we are about why the Dalish would send a dwarf to retaliate for the recent attack. Taking the whole "talking werewolf" thing in stride, Amy reassures Swiftrunner that he means the werewolves no harm. He's just here to kill Witherfang, the werewolf leader, and take his heart back to Zathrian to end the curse. Surprisingly, the werewolves don't like this idea.

"Fear us, dwarf, for we are-- damn it, Razorclaw! Don't scratch your armpits while I'm trying to intimidate people!"

 

The werewolves attack, but between Morrigan's spells, Leliana's arrows and Shale's flaming golem punches, Swiftrunner decides that it would be prudent to let the forest's natural defenses whittle us down first. More werewolves attack us after Swiftrunner flees, but these enemies are a kind of obstacle sometimes referred to as a "glass cannon". They can dish out damage, but they can't take it... and when one of your companions is a living construct made of stone, they don't last long. The aforementioned angry trees are a bigger problem than the actual werewolf menace.

In fact, it's not long before we run into the leader of the angry trees: a hulking wooden monstrosity with reddish leaves who speaks only in rhyme. He asks what manner of beast we are so naturally, we pretend we're a werewolf. The Great Oak recognizes this as a lie immediately and tells us he just wants to know if we could retrieve his acorn for him. Amy demands to know what he'd get out of this deal and the Oak promises enchanted wood that will allow us to travel to the center of the forest, where the werewolves are hiding out. We tell him it'd be easier to kill him and take the wood. With great patience, the Oak points out that it'd be worthless if he didn't enchant it, and Amy responds by trying to intimidate him. At this point, the talking tree has officially had enough of our crap, and attacks. Unfortunately for the Great Oak, Amy has just acquired an axe that is perfect for cutting trees down to size, so our best chance to confront the werewolves gets destroyed.

My branches broken, woe am I / You chopped me down and don't know why

Amy also finds a Dalish hunter who is barely holding onto life after running afoul of werewolves. We try to strike up a conversation but he rudely passes out. So, we loot all his equipment while he's napping, then wake him up. He only talks for another minute before passing out again, and Amy decides that stabbing him is easier than trying to revive him. Leliana freaks out. Sorry, girl. Forgot you were there. Fine, we'll take him back to the camp, but YOU'RE carrying him.

We eventually walk deeper into the woods, where we find an elf who has already turned into a werewolf. Barely holding back her rage, she pleads with us to kill her and give her scarf to her mate back in the village. We insist that she can just rejoin her people as she is. They won't even notice all the new fur! This idea is so stupid that the rage overwhelms her and we kill her just like she wanted. Frustrated, Amy wonders to himself if anyone in these woods actually talks sensibly!

His prayers are answered when we run into a hermit who lives in a dirty stump. We say hello and he immediately lays down the ground rules: question for a question, answer for an answer. So we trade questions back and forth for a while. It's a good system. Amy likes it. Morrigan tries to point out he's a madman who knows old and powerful magic. That's a rude thing to say about the most sane individual we've met in this game. The hermit agrees, saying it's no fair bringing a wizard to a guessing game, then asks if we're the kind souls who slaughtered that annoying talking tree. Amy says that depends on whether or not there's a reward. The hermit says maybe... do we want to know the perfect spot for a picnic in these woods?

"Seriously, look at the online reviews for this tuffet! 'Try the mixed grubs with lice, it's Dalishious!'"

 

The hermit says he can use a werewolf pelt to trick the trees into thinking we're one of the lycanthropes, allowing us to pass into their lair. Our only question is, how many werewolf pelts does he want? He only needs one, and after musing about turning it into a pair of slippers instead, he enchants it as promised. That's kind of a shame. We could have used a nice pair of werewolf slippers.

So, purely by accident, we're right on track to enter the werewolves' lair. The misty barrier blocking the path leading deeper into the woods is no impediment to us and no one is more shocked than Swiftrunner, who is waiting on the other side. Seeing that we've outsmarted a bunch of trees, he attacks... briefly. Flaming golem punches ensue. Amy moves forward to finish him off but he's knocked down by Witherfang, who promptly flees into a large, ruined temple with its werewolf reinforcements.

"Ah-ha! I know your greatest weakness: CUTSCENE POWER!"

 

The werewolf lair is much nicer than expected: instead of a smelly cave network, they set themselves up in an ancient Elven ruin. Concerned about future resale value, most of the lycanthropes elect not to fight indoors. They retreat into a lower chamber instead, and bar the door behind them. You'd think a simple door bar would be no major obstacle to a witch and/or a golem, but the game insists we have to take the long way around.

For the most part, all we have to worry about in the ruins are the vengeful undead bodies of the former Elven residents. There are occasionally giant spiders too, and the dead Elves do nothing to help their race's bad image in Ferelden by being less threatening than the arachnids. The unimpressive enemies give way to a bigger challenge, however.

Leliana keeps complaining about having a bad feeling about a room up ahead, and before we can tell her to shut up, a dragon appears. Not a terribly impressive one... this little guy is only about 10 feet long from tail to snout. He doesn't take kindly to us thinking he's cute, though, and puts up an admirable fight. He's not strong enough to take out Amy and Shale though, and ranged support from Morrigan and Leliana finish him off.

What the-- what a ripoff! I've seen 'Desolation of Smaug'! This is a falsely advertised hoard!

 

We shamelessly loot the dragon's "hoard" and the chambers ahead before finding a precious gem that could be valuable if it wasn't filled with blood. Amy tries to break it open and get the icky stuff out, but it won't shatter. Leliana suspects it's a phylactery. Amy doesn't know what that word means, so he assumes it's unimportant.

At some point while handling it, however, Amy hears a voice in his head and not one of the usual ones that keep daring him to snort lyrium dust. It's some kind of elf wizard whose spirit has been trapped for hundreds of years and begs to be destroyed. The visions are confusing, but the elf seems to remember being a spellcaster who could wear armor, and the spirit offers to impart the knowledge of how to do so as thanks for destroying the phylactery. We accept... then casually toss the gem into a pile of rubble and move on.

The tunnels lead to a pool of water that is a secret passage to the werewolves's inner sanctum... somehow. The camera zooms in on what looks like a puddle and suddenly, we're face to face with werewolves again. We kill the half dozen or so that attack before one shows up that asks if we're willing to parley. Amy decides there's no way this could be an ambush and agrees right away.

The lycanthropes lead us to a green-skinned beauty called the Lady of the Forest. We're pretty sure we remember her from this one Star Trek episode, but she insists she's a spirit who calms the werewolves' bestial nature and taught them speech. It turns out she was also summoned by Zathrian quite a long time ago in order to impart the curse of lycanthropy on some humans who wronged him. The heart of Witherfang could treat the illness, but Zathrian has the power to end the curse.

"No, I'm not an Orion slave girl... or a Desire Demon... or a cat. Seriously, what gave you those ideas?"

 

Swiftrunner, the Lady's right-hand wolf, angrily says the Dalish will never bargain and this is pointless. Amy agrees, and tells the werewolves that he'd be happy to help them kill all the elves. He fails this persuade check so hard, it's kind of amazing. Swiftrunner, who was out for blood a minute ago, hears Amy say this and decides that if this moronic dwarf thinks killing the Dalish is a good idea, it can't possibly be a good plan.

So, Amy tells the Lady that he thinks killing Witherfang is the best backup plan. The Lady says she has it in her power to ensure that Witherfang remains hidden forever if we act against her. We immediately switch loyalties and agree to kill Zathrian. Or force him to talk to the werewolves. Whatever.

We leave the Lady of the Forest behind and take the werewolves' shortcut back to the entrance hall of the ruins. Unexpectedly, Zathrian is there, having followed our trail of destruction through the forest. He demands to know why we're leaving without having killed Witherfang and we tell him we're on the Lady of the Forest's side now. He informs us that the Lady is actually Witherfang. That leafy bitch! She lied to us! We immediately switch loyalties again and agree to help Zathrian kill the Lady.

"People like you are the reason I dabble in neverending curses. I'm just sayin'."

 

Five minutes after leaving the werewolves' lair, we're back to see them with Zathrian in tow. He proudly tells the Lady of the Forest that the Warden is going to help him kill her... at which point Amy bursts out laughing and says he only said that to get Zathrian down here. Leliana tells us she's relieved, because we changed sides so many times that she had no idea what our intent was anymore. Little does she know that Amy still hasn't figured it out yet. The Lady of the Forest, meanwhile, tells Zathrian that she knows that ending the curse comes with a price: both his death and hers. The curse is the only thing that's sustaining them after this many years, but the Lady is willing to die to see it end. Zathrian says his hatred is eternal, and demands that we pick a side. Shale summarizes our thoughts perfectly: "somebody please kill somebody."

Amy tells Zathrian to fight the Lady and her werewolves, and we'll watch from a safe distance. The Dalish Keeper decides that remark means we deserve to die too... and he kind of has a point. Unfortunately for him, Amy is very adept at living through stupid decisions and beats Zathrian handily. After that, the elf has finally had enough. His hatred has clearly gotten the better of him and he agrees to end the curse. Standing in a circle with the werewolves, he taps his staff once on the ground, falls dead and the Lady fades away as her pack gazes at her one last time. The werewolves then transform back into their human form.

It's finally over, the humans say. No it isn't, Amy says. These humans put him through a lot of trouble and he intends to make them pay for it. The man who was once Swiftrunner says he still has an old, beaten-up kite shield if Amy wants it. Luckily, Amy decides that one old shield is easily worth the lives of a couple dozen humans and lets them go.

So, after a long day of doing the right thing for the dumb reasons, Amy returns to the Dalish camp and reports to the new Keeper of the clan. She pledges her support to us in the coming war and thanks us for saving the lives of the hunters suffering from lycanthropy. Amy leaves the forest, confident that any future experience he has with an elf will be a completely pleasant one.

No, damn it! I said we'd never see you again!

Dragon Age: Origins Playthrough - Redcliffe

Now that Amy has been cured of his burning desire to acquire a personal golem, he comes around to the notion that maybe this undead plague in Redcliffe is worthy of his attention after all. He returns to the town and finds it deserted, except for a random human picking through crates for loot. We tell him to scram. Only we are allowed to profit from our reckless negligence.

We eventually turn our attention to the Chantry and find what appears to be the dead body of Bann Teagan. Leliana realizes he's still alive. Shale asks if we can kick him around a little before helping him. I think I'm gonna like this golem.

After regaining consciousness, Teagan is horrified to find everyone gone and chastises us for our apathy. We scoff and tell him he's more to blame. After all, he was actually here when it happened. Strangely enough, he accepts this logic and tells us to meet him at the town windmill. Once there he explains there's a secret passage to the castle that his signet ring opens. Now it's our turn to chastise him for not using it before the attack. Before we can make him feel worse, we're interrupted by visitors from the castle... and they're not the dead kind.

Either that, or it's a couple of zombies with REALLY good human masks.

Isolde, Arl Eamon's wife, tells Teagan that something is wrong with her son Connor and he needs to come back to the castle with her alone to help. Amy invites himself along, which Isolde calls impertinent, so we accuse her of being racist against dwarves. Confused, she apologizes, saying that something has possessed Connor, and it made her promise to come back only with the Bann. Teagan agrees, but pulls us aside before he leaves and tells us to take his signet ring and enter the castle via the secret passage, as he knows he'll be in danger facing Connor alone.

We briefly consider leaving again, but luckily we have a recent, highly successful experience with a possessed child to boost our confidence. Into the secret passage we go!

The game reminds us again that we failed the village when we enter the castle's basement, as the fresh corpses of people who died last night join the undead soldiers in attacking us. The numbers are far from overwhelming though, and we carve a path to the dungeons without much trouble. Once there, we find one of the cells occupied and zombies are trying to reach the prisoner through the bars. The distraction means they're easy to kill.

Those things were trying to kill him... so Amy assumes he must have ordered them to do that!

 

The prisoner, a man named Jowan who is dressed in mage robes, cautiously approaches us and we accuse him of being responsible for the undead menace. He assures us he just came here to poison Arl Eamon. Oh. That's okay, then. He goes on to say he'd like to help solve the problem and we have no issues with letting this self-admitted assassin walk free. He asks if we're sure we don't want to keep an eye on him. We reply that we really, truly do not give a damn.

Moving on, there's not much to see but more undead. There is a traumatized servant who successfully hid from the monsters but she screams too much for our taste so we tell her to go away. Eventually, we find the throne room, where Bann Teagan is playing court jester for the possessed boy. Noticing us, Connor demands to know why we're here and we tell him we're just passing through and thought we'd say hi. He knows, however, that we killed all his undead soldiers whose wanton slaughter provided him with so much amusement. Desiring more fun, he orders Teagan and a few guards to attack us.
 

 DAMN IT KID, I PREFERRED HIM LIKE THIS.

 
We've been wanting to smack Teagan around for all the attempted guilt trips, so this is fun for us too. Unfortunately, he once again refuses to die and Isolde helps him to his feet, the demonic influence gone from his mind. Connor himself has run off, and Teagan grimly brings up the topic of how we should deal with him. Amy knows from recent events (that were totally not his fault) that killing the kid would be the easiest solution. Isolde insists there must be some other way... at which point our mage from the dungeons shows up.

Jowan is not only an apostate and an assassin, he's also a maleficar, a user of a forbidden craft called blood magic. He tells us that a mage can confront the demon on its native plane, the Fade, and not harm Connor in the process. All he needs to do is sacrifice someone and use all the blood in their body to cast the spell. Surprisingly, Isolde volunteers to do this. Teagan is concerned but Amy just shrugs and says someone's dying either way.

So, ignoring the obvious hints that there must be a better way, Amy has two choices. Either we kill the kid who's essentially an abomination, guaranteeing an end to the problem, or we allow this highly suspicious mage to perform a human sacrifice. Assuming his ritual works, it will send one squishy wizard off to confront a much more powerful foe than a child, and leave the demonically sensitive kid alive (possibly to be possessed again in the future).

"I promise I'll never turn villagers into zombies again. Unless they piss me off."

Morrigan, I hope you like washing blood stains out of that skimpy outfit.

Without going into too much detail, the ritual looks like it hurts like hell. Isolde gives a final, ragged gasp as Jowan hits Morrigan with her blood, causing our witch to faint right away. She wakes up in a blurry wasteland, surrounded by wandering spirits. If Amy were here, he'd probably ask one for directions to the nearest tavern. Morrigan is sensible however, and seeks out Connor specifically. He tries to bargain in his distorted voice but she demands to see the demon. At this point, the body of Connor flashes a few times and, sure enough, turns into the demon. A brief fight ensues before it flees.

Morrigan continues to chase the demon down through the Fade, which insists on hiding behind the illusory form of Connor. This only serves to irritate her further. Eventually, it gives up the chase and appears to Morrigan in her true form. As luck would have it, it's another curvaceous Desire Demon!

...Or another ordinary cat. We're still trying to figure out the difference between those two things.

The demon tries to tell Morrigan that she's totally interested in bargaining now, not fighting, but our witch is so annoyed at this point that she won't even entertain the notion.  A battle ensues and while the Desire Demon can make illusory copies of herself and cast a few spells, Morrigan has life-draining magic to heal herself and can turn into a bear.  It turns out that even demon heads fall off when clawed at by an angry wall of meat, and thus the demon is vanquished.

True to his word, Jowan has enabled us to trade Isolde's life for Connor's and Bann Teagan is relieved to see that the young boy doesn't remember a thing about his ordeal.  Teagan is, however, concerned about the fact that Jowan tried to have Arl Eamon killed and asks us what we think should be done with him.  Once again, Amy informs him that he doesn't give a damn, so Jowan is sent back to the dungeons.  Our attention turns to how to go about curing the Arl and Teagan believes, with regret, that search for the Urn of Sacred Ashes may be our best bet.  Amy has one question, though: what's in it for me?

"Oh, screw this. I'm going to jump out of my deathbed and STRANGLE that guy."

Teagan, continuing to show patience, explains that the Grey Wardens will need the Arl's support and his armies if we want to have any chance of confronting Loghain.  Amy says that Isolde promised him a reward, which is completely untrue as far as I know.  The bann doesn't want to hear it either, and suggests we should cure the Arl if we want to discuss a dead woman's promises.  Sounds like a plan, Teagan!

So, Connor is alive and unpossessed, Redcliffe is a buyer's market for real estate, and even Alistair tells us when we get back to camp that he appreciates the fact that we didn't kill the Arl's son.  Things are looking good, right?

Not so fast.  A cut scene shows us Loghain plotting in Denerim with his noble ally, Arl Howe, ominously voiced by master villain Tim Curry.  Arl Howe tells Loghain that he has learned of the Grey Wardens' survival and has devised a solution... at which point he introduces an elven assassin named Zevran, a member of a notorious organization called the Antivan Crows.

"I'm just here to join the club for characters with nice hair and sexy foreign accents."

 

I'm sure we'll never see him again.