Dragon Age II Playthrough - How Not to Win Friends and Influence People

With the Qunari situation finally dealt with and the Viscount left dead in the wake of it, Varric's story jumps ahead one more time. Chickene Hawke, the Champion, is now one of the most important people in Kirkwall, but he's still not as important as Meredith. The Knight-Commander of the Templars seized power in the interest of preserving order and to her, that meant cracking down on the mages' underground resistance movement. The mages haven't exactly responded well though, and many have turned to blood magic in the hope that it will allow them to better defend themselves. So, Kirkwall is basically full of angry mages, angry Templars, and a bunch of common folk stuck in the middle.

Act three opens with First Enchanter Orsinio trying to stir up anti-Templar sentiment in Hightown, and Meredith confronting him. Among the assembled crowd is Hawke, and Meredith draws him into the debate as soon as she notices him. Chickene remains diplomatic at first, saying that people should demand that Meredith should step down if that's what they truly want, but Orsinio shouldn't assume that's the will of the people right now. This doesn't help ease the tension, so Chickene calls them both idiots and says he's not supporting either of them. It's not until Grand Cleric Elthina shows up and tells everyone to calm down that Orsinio and Meredith go their separate ways.

Chickene's influence as Champion is outclassed by an old woman's skill with guilt trips.

One thing's for certain: dealing with that situation is going to be a damned headache. So, Chickene decides to check in with some people who still kind of like him instead. We find Aveline in Fenris' manor, telling him that she has learned of an elf woman traveling alone on a ship to Kirkwall, arriving today. Fenris is upset by this for some reason, so Aveline tells us to reason with him because she's sick of trying. Chickene calms him down and Fenris says he followed up on Hadriana's claim that he has a sister. It turned out to be true and she's agreed to meet him, but he's still paranoid about it being a trap. Chickene blunty tells him to stop worrying and meet her. Either he gets to catch up with his sister in peace, or Danarius shows up and we get to kill him. It's a win-win situation.

Fenris has selected the Hanged Man as a safe place for a meeting because apparently, he wasn't paying attention when we got into a fight there in act two. As soon as he sees his sister, he remembers her name is Varania and can recall a memory of her from his youth. She tells him his name used to be Leto, but she doesn't seem happy to see him. Fenris realizes his instincts were correct, and Danarius appears at the top of a nearby staircase to reclaim his property. He calls Chickene Fenris' new master and asks him to hand the elf over, but Hawke tells him he's not a slave anymore. So, Danarius directs a substantial number of his slaver followers to attack us.

Look, I told you, Fenris. This guy's beard is inferior to Chickene's. He's as good as dead.

The cannon fodder Danarius has to offer is no challenge to us at this point. Even when he summons demons, the fight isn't a challenge and it doesn't even wear the party down thanks to Chickene's healing aura. Eventually, Danarius is out of minions and has to join the fight himself. He has some powerful spells, but he can't cast them very quickly and he has an elf bearing down on him who's wanted to kill him for years. He doesn't beat the odds. Fenris turns his rage to Varania next, but Chickene asks him if this is really what he wants. Varric chimes in, saying that he knows from experience that killing a sibling is never easy. So, Fenris relents and says magic has tainted everything in life, even his long-lost sister. As a mage, Chickene takes exception to that, and the two exchange some heated words before Fenris storms off.

"Also, and keep this on the down-low, we've officially hit our quota for fratricide in this game."

Chickene and Fenris have a more civil discussion later at the elf's mansion, but they still don't call each other friends. Not surprising, considering his hatred of mages... so Chickene decides that he might have more luck with someone who shares his talents. He suddenly remembers this guy named Anders who has a clinic in Darktown, and supposes we should at least check to see whether or not he's died from a staph infection yet. Upon arriving in Darktown, we see that he's still among the living but seems to be somewhat remorseful about that. He asks us if we remember our disapproval of his decision to be possessed by a spirit of vengeance, and that sort of rings a bell, but what's important is that he says we were right all along.

Anders doesn't believe he can control Vengeance anymore, and has found a Tevinter potion recipe that should end the possession without killing him. Unfortunately, the ingredients are rare, but Chickene is supportive of Anders' efforts to be free from the spirit. All we need to help him with is a special ore called drakestone and a substance called sela petrae, which forms among sewer waste. Suddenly feeling suspicious, Chickene demands to know what Anders isn't telling us. The former Grey Warden deflects the question by rambling about weird dreams and we begin to realize why we didn't invite this guy to our party more often.

The reagents themselves aren't hard to find, but we run into trouble because the sewer tunnels where the sela petrae can be found are overrun with lyrium smugglers. Also, the caverns where the drakestone can be found are full of giant spiders. This wouldn't be an issue if Anders just needed one sample, but the guy seems to insist on finding as many deposits as he can. Chickene begins to feel justified in his suspicions, which are confirmed when we get back to Darktown and Anders asks us for one more favor. He wants us to sneak him into the Chantry where he can be alone for a while. Chickene confronts him, and Anders admits this was never about getting rid of Vengeance. We tell him he's on his own, and Anders officially becomes our rival.

"That's the last straw, Hawke. You're not welcome in my filthy, disease-ridden hideout any longer."

So... that didn't work out as well as expected. Chickene proceeds to check in with Merrill, Aveline and Varric but none of them have any errands for us to run at the moment, and that leaves us stumped about what to do next. Sure, we got a letter from Knight-Commander Meredith in which she demanded that we come to her office, but we're going to delay that as much as possible. Sorting through our other letters, we learn that we apparently invested in a mine back in act one, which doesn't sound familiar but the owner, Hubert, wants to talk to us in Hightown anyway. Whoever he is, he has to be better than Meredith, so off we go.

A short time later, we find the guy in question, who refers to us as his business partner but this still isn't ringing any bells. What he tells us though, that a bunch of miners from Fereldan have been massacred by some unknown aggressor, sounds like something we'd be interested in looking into. So we head to this mine called the Bone Pit (which is a name that I wouldn't call foreboding but rather a giant sign saying, "DANGER! RUN AWAY NOW!") and investigate. It's clear that something pretty violent happened here, and there appears to be a great deal of fire involved as well. We're hoping it's just a band of Tal-Vashoth pyromaniacs. As we head into a valley near the mines, however, we realize it's something much, much worse.

What, did you think there wasn't going to be a dragon in a game called Dragon Age II?

Chickene tries waving and yelling, "Hi, Flemeth!" but this one's the genuine article. Our best guess is that this high dragon is an investor in the mine too and has decided to get rid of its competition. Regardless of its motives, this is a tough fight. The fire breath can take off half of the hit points of anything in its path, it has a grapple attack that deals continuous damage and leaves its target defenseless and lastly, the high dragon will fly away and summon lesser dragons if it needs to take a breather. Chickene remains true to his name, healing his party members from a respectful distance away and letting Aveline, Fenris and Varric do most of the damage. Our healing skills prove to be better than the dragon's damage skills and the great beast is finally defeated. Hawke does, of course, take the opportunity to engage in some heroic magic posing as the dragon is in its death throes.

Never mind the fact that healing spells are all I can cast well. I totally killed this dragon with magic, guys.

While the mine is a total loss, Chickene's still not sure he was ever a partner in the first place and what's more important is the fact that dragons are fond of treasure. In this case, the dragon was hoarding the iconic outfit Hawke wears in Varric's initial, exaggerated story. So, we head back to Hightown with no good news for Hubert, but we certainly look cool when we tell him we killed the dragon for the good of the city. Hubert calls us a big-headed dog lord and saunters off. Whatever, man. You're just jealous of my style.

Despite all this, there are no new companion quests available so Chickene won't be able to duck Meredith for much longer. Therefore, in the next update, we'll see our apostate walk into Templar headquarters and hold on to the misguided hope that they're not going to smite us on sight!

Dragon Age II Playthrough - The Cat That Swallowed the Qunari

Chickene finds himself in the keep once again, as Viscount Dumar tells us that his son Seamus has decided to convert to the Qun and he wants us to talk him out of it. Hawke kindly points out that Seamus is a full-grown man and has the right to make that choice, but the Viscount says the political consequences are too great to allow that. So, Hawke rudely asks if he'd like us to drag him out of the compound in front of the Arishok. The viscount is, for some reason, still convinced that we can diplomatically persuade Seamus or the Arishok to play along and sends us on our way. Great.

 

Contempt and an air of superiority. Two ingredients not commonly found in a recipe for success.

 

Later at the Qunari Compound, where Chickene broaches the topic of Seamus politely, the Arishok says Seamus came to him as a willing convert and will not turn him away. Chickene accuses him of trying to find human soldiers to replace dead Qunari, but the Arishok insists they only do that to prisoners. He then cuts to the chase and says Seamus isn't even here... apparently he agreed to meet the viscount at the Chantry. Chickene and the Arishok both suspect Mother Petrice of meddling again. Hawke resolves to kill her this time and the Arishok says this is the only outcome he'll accept for someone who threatens Qunari converts.

Back to the Chantry we go. The good news is, we find Seamus right away. The bad news is, Petrice's zealots have already killed him and now she has showed up with a large group of her "faithful" to frame us for the murder. I guess it's a good thing that we already decided to kill her... unfortunately, she throws her followers at us and runs off again. Even with a couple of Templars in the group, it's not a difficult fight but this was just a means to an end for Petrice.

 

In Mass Effect 2, they introduced a "dialogue interrupt" system in which you could cut a conversation short and act.
...Why BioWare didn't include it here, and let me punch Mother Petrice like she's a tabloid journalist, I don't know.

 

By the time we're through dealing with the zealots, Mother Petrice is coming down the stairs with Grand Cleric Elthina herself. Petrice is already telling her how Chickene has gone on a killing spree exactly as she predicted, but we note that Elthina replies that she predicted it "all too well". We politely state our case, that Petrice killed Seamus to stir up anti-Qunari sentiments. Petrice can't help but start talking about how bad the Qunari are and Hawke angrily calls her out on her hatred. Elthina has heard enough. She chastises Petrice for crossing a line and says she'll be put on trial for this.

A Qunari lurking in the shadows disagrees with Elthina, though. While Petrice stares in shock as the Grand Cleric heads back upstairs, the Qunari fires two arrows into Petrice and leaves. Elthina suggests we get the viscount, so we do. He has little to say however, apart from stating that he can no longer be the leader Kirkwall needs now that his son is dead. We leave him to his grief and as we exit the Chantry, Aveline says there's a matter we need to discuss given the fact that things have gotten this bad.

 

Maybe you could let a balding nobleman who's totally not a mage give it a try? Just sayin'.

Chickene agrees to meet Aveline at his manor, but she's not the only guest we have. Isabela has chosen this moment to ask us for a favor too, and insists she's going to die if we don't help. Said favor turns out to be retrieving a relic that her old boss wants, which is being sold to Tevinter magisters tonight. Aveline, on the other hand, says she needs to talk to the Arishok about some elf fugitives who are trying to escape justice by converting to the Qun. She reasons that the city will riot if the citizens believe the Qunari are above the law, and Chickene agrees that's more important. Isabela vaguely suggests her relic might help with the Qunari too. We tell her to stop being so selfish but Aveline concedes that if there's any chance the relic can appease the Arishok, it would be good to retrieve it. So, we decide to follow Isabela to Lowtown.

Merrill and Aveline accompany Hawke and Isabela to Lowtown, and they run into Qunari almost immediately. They assume we have the relic and attack, which is certainly an auspicious start. Chickene politely asks Isabela to explain what this relic's connection to the Qunari is so we know what we're dealing with, and she finally admits it's the sacred Qunari relic that the Arishok is refusing to leave without. Chickene explodes, accusing Isabela of hiding the truth the whole time and telling her in no uncertain terms that the relic is going back to them. Isabela's not happy since she's convinced Castillon will hunt her down and kill her without it, but she eventually stops arguing and we go inside the nearby Foundry.

 

With that, Isabela goes from "not particularly useful" to "person we have burning hate for" in a heartbeat.

As we arrive on the scene, the seller is getting ready to hand the relic over to the Tevinter buyers. We approach at the same time as a group of Qunari warriors who shout at the Tevinters to back off. The mages draw their staves, the seller runs off with the relic, and Isabela breaks rank to pursue him. Now Chickene has to deal with an angry group of Tevinters and Qunari with just Aveline and Merrill to back him up. Naturally, by the time we've finished dealing with that hostility, we run outside to find the seller dead and his pockets empty except for a note from Isabela. In it, she tells us she's run off with the relic and doesn't intend to come back. She also apologizes for lying again, but it's small consolation for Hawke and Aveline, who have to deal with the Arishok under even less fortunate circumstances.

Reluctantly, Aveline asks for an audience with the Arishok the next morning with Hawke and a small group of her guards. We approach to find that the Qunari leader is carrying a massive axe on his shoulder, which certainly can't be a good sign. Aveline asks about the fugitives, so the Arishok brings out his two elven converts and asks them to confess to their crimes. One of the elves says a guardsman forced himself on his sister, so he and his friends murdered him for revenge. Chickene remains stern and says we're just here for the elves, not to debate culpability. Surprisingly, the Arishok asks Chickene what he would do if their positions were reversed. Chickene kindly suggests that he would leave peacefully. The Arishok disagrees, stating he cannot leave without his relic and he cannot stay while remaining blind to the disorder. So, he orders his warriors to attack us and the Qunari seige of Kirkwall begins.

 

Admittedly, this guy would probably do a better job at keeping order than the Viscount or the Knight-Commander.

Chickene and Aveline manage to slip out of the docks and regroup in Lowtown. Fighting can be heard throughout the city and Aveline suggests the Arishok has been planning this for a while. With her guardsmen otherwise occupied, she sticks with Hawke, Fenris and Varric to defend the area against the Qunari. There are plenty to be found in Lowtown, too. Horned warriors come from all corners of the slums to attack and progress is slow from one end of Lowtown to the other. As we reach the outskirts of Hightown, we find a small group of Grey Wardens who were caught up in the sudden uprising, who say they cannot help us fight but they will spread the word across the Free Marches in case the worst happens and Kirkwall falls.

Our group continues to the market district of Hightown, where the Qunari are dragging citizens toward the keep and they've let their Saarebas mages off their leashes to make that job easier. We encounter a particularly nasty one who seems ready to do major damage to Chickene, but he's put to a stop by a woman with a large sword and full plate armor. She introduces herself as Meredith, Knight-Commander of the Templars, recognizes us as Ser Carver's brother and says it's strange that he never mentioned us. We tell her about the hostage taking and say we want to stop it, so Meredith says she'll overlook our use of magic for now. We go our separate ways and find plenty more Qunari, including a few Saarebas, on our way to the keep but we eventually find ourselves there.

 

Carver appears briefly to remind you that he's not among your growing number of dead family members.

We clear out a large number of Qunari just outside the keep and find an older, elven mage rising unsteadily to his feet among the dead. This turns out to be Orsinio, First Enchanter of the Circle. Unfortunately for him, he's the sole survivor of a group of mages who were in the area and his mood doesn't improve when Meredith arrives on the scene. She's determined to go on the offensive while the Qunari are scattered throughout the city, but Orsinio refuses to take orders from her. So, Chickene decides to bark orders instead and tells the two of them that rescuing the hostages in the keep should be the top priority. Meredith agrees to follow this lead for now, and we all advance up the stairs to the keep.

 

I'm sure Meredith wants you dead, Orsinio, but seeing how useless you were against Qunari, she may not have to wait long. 

Qunari resistance is heavy and Orsinio is unsure about engaging them directly, but Meredith and Chickene opt for the direct approach. With a group of Templars backing us up, the fight is not too difficult and a path is cleared to the throne room. Meredith tells us to go ahead while she and her Templars hold the entrance. Chickene walks in to see the Arishok throw the Viscount's head at an assembled group of nobles, and a Qunari snapping one man's neck when he calls them monsters. Chickene confronts the Arishok, who says we must prove our worth before directing his honor guard to attack us. They're not any tougher than the warriors we fought to get here, though.

 

The Arishok, now calling us basalit-an for some reason, asks us how we propose to end this conflict. Chickene replies that he'd really like to hunt Isabela down and get the relic back. The Arishok says it's too late for that and intends to make us pay for our follower's crime. Fenris, however, knows what the term basalit-an means and says this gives us the right to duel the Arishok. If we win, the Qunari will leave without resistance... however, it means a squishy mage has to fight a beefy warrior, one on one. That's a horrible idea; but Chickene's never been one for rationality.

 

I'd like to end this conflict amiably, over tea and crumpets, followed by a nice tiramisu.

...Damn it all, what do you mean that's not one of my dialogue options?

The only thing keeping Chickene alive in this duel is his powerful healing aura that rapidly regenerates his health. Unfortunately, as long as it's active, we lose access to our few offensive spells like spirit bolt and walking bomb. So the duel consists of Chickene running around, hoping not to get his head cut off, taking little shots at the Arishok with his staff and casting haste when he can. It's a long and fairly ridiculous battle, but the Arishok's health is finally chipped away and Hawke is victorious.

"Damn you, Hawke. Don't you know that killing is basically the only thing I can do well?"

 

Even Cassandra points out that this is an unlikely part of Varric's story, but the nobles cheer as Chickene deals with his massive chest pains. Meredith enters to see that there is no glory for her to claim and shoots us a brief, but nasty glare. She then hails us as Kirkwall's new champion and act two comes to a close. It wasn't pretty, but Chickene finally managed to do something that was worthy of respect. When his story continues, however, we'll see that the Qunari revolt was merely a precursor to a much larger conflict.

Dragon Age II Playthrough - Another Fine Mess

Hawke learned through his connections in the Viscount's Keep that some extremists have decided to kidnap a Qunari delegation and while stopping in the Hanged Man for a drink, he overhears a man named Orwald bragging about his involvement in that matter. We decide to treat the patrons to a good old-fashioned tavern brawl and a short time later, the drunken braggart and his friends are dead. Searching their bodies, we find out that not only are their boasts true, but their actions were apparently carried out on the orders of a templar with the sanction of the Grand Cleric herself. Naturally, Chickene is going to storm into the Chantry to try and get some answers.

Aveline is less than pleased with the idea of accompanying Hawke to accuse the Grand Cleric of funding zealots, but since she's the only good tank available to us, we tell her to deal with it. Fortunately for Aveline, the Grand Cleric doesn't grant an audience to just anyone but a familiar face comes to greet us instead. Mother Petrice, who we met in Act One as Sister Petrice when she tried to get us killed smuggling a Qunari mage out of the city, asks us what we're doing here. Chickene gruffly tells her that the Grand Cleric is condoning kidnapping. Petrice is skeptical, but when we mention the orders with the appropriate seal, she hesitates. Hawke discerns that Petrice knew about this, so she makes us a deal. She tells us the Qunari were abducted by her former bodyguard, Ser Varnell, but he's not marching to her tune as closely as he should be these days. Petrice offers to lead us to him as a peace offering and we accept, since this is really our only option.

"Go ahead and kill my most trusted collaborator, and I promise I won't try to seek revenge later."

We head to Darktown, a place that even Varric says we should spend as little time in as possible, and locate the entrance to the tunnel where the Secret Qunari-Hating Club is meeting. Sure enough, a Templar is standing in front of a group of bound Qunari and ranting to his supporters about their evil ways. Mother Petrice is true to her word and appears by our side, trying to intimidate her former bodyguard into backing down. He's too consumed by his zeal to listen, so Chickene invites him to fight someone who's not tied up. The Templar obliges, but not before killing the entire Qunari delegation.

One fight later, Mother Petrice has made herself scarce and Hawke has some more bad news to deliver. Viscount Dumar himself makes an appearance in the undercity to confirm these are the delegates he's looking for. He's satisfied that we killed the extremists but is unsure of how to deal with the Arishok over this. Chickene tells him that the Arishok is sure to find out eventually and the Viscount had better be honest. He thanks Hawke for his advice, and we part ways for now.

"First, an impending Qunari revolt, then a dead Templar, and now I have undercity filth on my boots."

With that settled, we turn our attention to a Templar who we actually kind of like: Ser Emeric, the man who was investigating Ninette's disappearance and the connection to women murdered in Act One. He's still trying to track down the killer, but has managed to earn the ire of Knight-Commander Meredith with his investigation of an influential noble named Gascard DuPuis. We meet him in the Gallows, where he asks us to break into DuPuis'  house again. Aveline points out that her guardsmen already raided the house on his suggestion and found nothing, but he insists that DuPuis is hiding something. Since Hawke has nothing better to do, he agrees.

Upon entering the Hightown mansion that evening, we're immediately assaulted by Shades and a Lesser Rage Demon. Either the guardsmen are less thorough than Aveline would like us to believe, or DuPuis has suddenly decided to put up a bunch of magical defenses. Since the only way to find out is to ask him, we vanquish every nasty Fade spirit in our path and find DuPuis in the master bedroom, standing over a terrified-looking woman. He sees us enter and says he knows this looks bad, but he's not a killer. Chickene lets him talk, more out of curiosity to hear his bad excuse than anything else (Varric even bets us 20 silver he'll blame a one-armed man).

Chickene calls out Gascard for being a liar. The irony is almost palpable.

Gascard's story is believable, though: his sister was murdered a few years back after receiving a bouquet of white lilies, and he's using this woman as bait since she too received such a bouquet. The woman says Gascard hurt her, and he tries to explain that he just needed some of her blood. We ask him if that's blood magic and he says yes, he had to augment his powers with forbidden magic to avenge his sister. Chickene's not sure if he's the killer or not, but he just outed himself as a demon-summoning maleficarum and we only let Merrill get away with that crap.

After chasing Gascard through his mansion and killing him, we head back to the Gallows to tell Emeric the semi-good news. He's not there though, and one of his fellow Templars is confused because we told him to meet us tonight. Chickene asks to see the letter, and confirms that he didn't write it. So, we rush to the blind alley that Emeric was told to go to, but find that we're too late. A shade has already killed him and there's a group of other demons alongside it that attack us, too. Once the actual fighting is over, our new Templar friend rushes in and asks us about Emeric's last lead, Gascard. We inform her that we already killed him, so he can't be responsible. She says she'll report this to Meredith in Emeric's stead, and we walk away from yet another disappointing outcome.

The Templars' heraldry, called the "Silver Sword of Mercy", really ought to be re-named.

Given how ineffective they are, "Tin Butter Knife of Ineptitude" would be more accurate.

Just when it seems things couldn't get worse, we return to our manor to find Uncle Gamlen inside. Chickene prepares to shake him down and check his pockets for silverware, but Gamlen says he's here because our mother Leandra missed their weekly get-together. Bodahn says he hasn't seen her all day either, but suggest she might be with her suitor because someone sent her a bouquet of white lilies. Chickene recognizes this as one of the few things Gascard DuPuis said that he actually believed. We tell Gamlen about the possibility of a serial killer and he agrees that we should look for Leandra in Lowtown tonight, once the crowds have thinned out.

Later, we catch up with Gamlen as he's trying to get information out of a street urchin. The youth is reluctant to give information at first, since Gamlen isn't rich enough to bribe anyone, but is much more helpful when Chickene tosses coins his way. We learn that Leandra stopped to help an injured man who was bleeding, and he led her deeper into Lowtown. There's still a blood trail too, which we follow to a familiar-looking foundry where we found Ninette's body in the previous act. With no time to lose, Chickene rushes into the foundry and is confronted by more demons. We eliminate them all and Chickene runs over to inspect a woman's body nearby, only to find that it is the woman Gascard was using as bait earlier, so we move on.

Hawke discovers a macabre shrine, and Merrill actually says it's "pretty".

...You know why we're ignoring the romance options in this game? Because of moments like THAT.

The killer's lair is about as disturbing as one would expect. There are a series of notes talking about preserving body parts, discarded books about evil magic including necromancy, and a shrine to a woman who looks strikingly similar to Leandra. Eventually, we come face to face with the madman behind all this: an older mage standing near a tall chair with a woman sitting in it. He tells us that our mother was chosen for a divine experiment that allowed him to bring his wife back from the dead. Specifically, he took body parts from a number of women to get his dead wife's specific features right and chose Leandra's head since she's the spitting image of the dead woman. As he finishes, his flesh golem rises to stand by his side.

This guy is definitely in the running for "character we want to kill the most".

The ensuing battle is arduous, as this mage has killed many women and corrupted versions of their spirits are summoned to attack us. Those spirits are in addition to the regular swarms of shades and reanimated corpses at his command. Chickene's aura, which heals over time, comes in handy during this fight, and so does his dispel magic ability once the killer is weakened enough to be the target of our attacks. The mage takes enough damage to be knocked down when Chickene strips him of his spells and he's an easy target to be finished off by Aveline and Varric from there. Unfortunately, his magic dies with him. The walking corpse with Leandra's head takes a couple of shambling steps before collapsing into Chickene's arms.

Leandra has temporarily regained her senses and thanks her son for doing what he had to do. She is free of the serial killer mage's control and is at peace, knowing she will see Bethany again soon. Chickene tells her that he failed her, but Leandra tells him it wasn't his fault and she's always been proud of him. After that, her life slips away and Chickene is left to deal with not only another failed mission, but his Uncle Gamlen.

Well, at least she died as she lived: in a wedding dress, stitched together with a dozen other women.

...This is exactly why we let Varric handle all the narration duties.

Gamlen is beside himself over Leandra's death and demands to know what happened. Chickene tells him the truth, which only makes things worse. He rants for a while about the evils of magic, which Chickene takes offense to but Gamlen refuses to apologize for it. He then says he'll go to the Gallows to inform our brother Carver personally. Chickene is finally left alone in the manor, though Aveline stops by briefly to say we'll know where to find her if we need to talk.

So, you'd think this would be the lowest point of the game. The Qunari situation is degrading, we keep showing up to solve problems after it's too late to save people and to top it all off, our mom was just murdered. Surely things can only go uphill from here? Not so much. Another letter from the viscount just arrived and Hawke has learned that once again, he needs our help in dealing with a delicate, Qunari-related situation... and we all know how well that has worked out so far.

Dragon Age II Playthrough - With Friends Like These, Who Needs Side Quests?

Now that Hawke's companions have discovered that they can get Chickene to do things as long as they make it sound important, they're lining up for their turn in the "Companion Quest" list. Fenris makes his demand first because while we were out on the Wounded Coast, clearing a path for Aveline and Donnic's romantic stroll, Tevinter slavers noticed that we were traveling with a distinctly glowing elf and attacked. Our angry elf notices that they're led by Hadriana, the star apprentice of his former master, Danarius. Now that they've openly attacked him, Fenris is determined to attack them right back and tells Hawke we must track them down immediately. Chickene says he'll get to it... but is distracted soon afterwards.

Varric wants to meet us at the Hanged Man, and he tells us with suppressed, murderous glee that his sources say Bartrand is back in Kirkwall. His treacherous brother is holed up in a Hightown mansion and receiving secret deliveries for unknown purposes. Chickene is still annoyed about being left to die in the Deep Roads and agrees it's time for a little family reunion. So Fenris' bloodlust is superceded by Varric's as Hawke accompanies him to Hightown along with Merrill and Aveline.

"Ha! I told Broody that Hawke would do my favor first! That elf owes me a drink."

Finding the mansion isn't difficult, but it appears to be completely abandoned when we get there. Our narrator is confused but confident in his information, so Hawke says the least we can do is ransack this manor since we've come all this way. Varric leads us inside and is immediately confronted by half a dozen guards. Confidently drawing his crossbow, he invites the guards to dance with him and starts killing everything in the room with a single shot. He eventually finds three guards standing in a doorway and fires a bolt that kills all three of them, in a row. Clearly bested, Bartrand begs Varric for mercy and confesses that mother always loved him best.

We cut back to Varric telling the story to the Chantry Seeker, who looks thoroughly unimpressed. The dwarf tries to weasel his way out of telling what is sure to be an uncomfortable story, but she's not having it. So we return to the mansion, and this time Hawke is leading the charge. There are still plenty of guards, along with plenty of crates, broken decorations and other junk. Occasionally, we find a chest with actual valuables inside, but there's no sign of Bartrand... until we clear all the guards out of the main hall and an unarmed dwarf comes out of hiding.

A statue that sings? Maybe it should be on American Idol.

Varric recognizes him as Bartrand's steward and asks Chickene not to flay his soul just yet. The steward tells us the idol was driving Bartrand mad and sold it in the hope it would stop "singing" to him. Unfortunately, he slipped further into insanity once the idol was gone and he hasn't been seen since he locked himself in a room with all his servants about a week ago. Tired of fighting through waves of crazed mercenaries, Chickene says he's going to put an end to this and he and Varric kick down the door in question.

Bartrand seems to have gained significant fighting abilities, as well as teleportation since last we saw him. He summons even more guards to defend him but Hawke's healing aura keeps everyone healthy as the guards are dispatched and Bartrand is beaten into submission. While no longer aggressive, Bartrand is no saner than before and asks Varric to help him find the idol, completely unaware of the fact that he left us to die over it. Varric realizes that his brother is too far gone to tell him why he did it and decides death would be a mercy at this point. Hawke suggests that maybe Varric doesn't want that blood on his hands but he replies that too many people have died already because of Bartrand's madness, so Chickene tells him to make it quick.

Ooh, is this a guessing game? I'm gonna say... 27!

Varric hasn't found much peace by dealing with his brother, but he's in a better mood than Fenris is about to be in. Hawke is heading to Lowtown's alienage to hear what Merrill has to say when Hadriana shows up along with her slaver buddies to attack us again. Fenris refuses to submit, as usual, and Hadriana retreats while we execute her minions. Our elf warrior yells at Hawke immediately after the last of them are defeated, asking us, what part of "immediately" did we not understand? Chickene apologizes, saying he didn't realize that this quest was time-sensitive because so far, it's been the only one in the game that actually is. Fenris chastises us for not trusting the game developers and says if we don't take him seriously, he's going to leave. So, we head back to the Wounded Coast to prevent that from happening.

The path to the Tevinter slavers' hideout is short but thick with enemies, and Fenris stops us at the entrance to the cave to tell us we need to be careful because mages are dangerous and stuff. Chickene is sick of Fenris' attitude and says we're just going to kill everything inside like we always do. Shrugging, he follows us as we navigate twisting, trap-filled corridors with slavers waiting in ambush positions. Some lesser mages lead the groups and keep themselves protected with spells, but Hawke has just upgraded his dispel magic ability and can damage enemy casters by removing their beneficial spells. Mages who have been knocked down and stripped of their best defenses don't last long against Aveline and Fenris. Our bloody march continues until we find an unarmed elf surrounded by slavers in a large antechamber.

I was tempted to say this to him just because of his poor attitude during the whole quest.

Once the slavers are dead, the elf girl, Orana, tells us that she and her fellow slaves were reasonably well-treated until recently, when Hadriana started killing them with blood magic to gain power for an upcoming fight. She's the last of her group and has nowhere to go, so Chickene tells her to go to his manor in Hightown and he'll help her out. Fenris remarks, in an icy tone, that he didn't know we were in the market for a slave. We tell him we have no intention of actually keeping her a slave, and he apologizes. Then we move on to Hadriana herself, who has plenty of guards and the ability to summon undead and lesser demons. All things considered though, her tactics aren't much better than the mages we just eliminated, so defeating her isn't difficult.

Fenris moves in for the killing blow, but Hadriana says she'll trade her life for information. Our elf isn't interested, until she says she can help him find his sister, who he doesn't even remember. Hawke asks if she can prove she isn't lying, but she just laughs and says she can't. So, we let Fenris decide what he wants to do. He kneels down and politely asks for the information, which Hadriana provides. Then Fenris punches a hole straight through her chest, killing her. Chickene nods in approval and says he would have done the same, but Fenris isn't amused. He rants about how this is probably a trap and that magic ruins everything. We tell him not to forget he's talking to a mage, and he says he hasn't before storming out of the hideout.

Fenris forgets, however, that Hawke was going to give him a ride back to Kirkwall. Here he is waiting for a bus.

After Chickene is finished taking the valuables off of the slavers' bodies, he returns to his manor to find an apologetic Fenris, who says seeing Hadriana again filled him with a hate that she bred into him, and lost control. Chickene's no stranger to irrationality and says Fenris doesn't need to apologize. We then ask him if he's going to follow up on this information about a sister, but Fenris hasn't decided yet. After he leaves, Bodahn informs us that Orana is here and, as promised, we tell her that she can stay in the manor as a paid servant, not a slave. Hawke's mother is still not particularly impressed by this idea.

Regardless, it's time to get back to that rendezvous with Merrill we had planned earlier. Our Dalish blood mage says she has something to show us and points us to an ornate, but broken mirror. Chickene kindly points out that there are no reflections and Merrill explains it's an ancient Dalish mirror called an eluvian, which the clans used to communicate with each other over long distances. She found it while trying to find a missing Dalish scout... his trail ended at the mirror and she never found a body. Chickene pounces on this and calls her a fool for bringing a killer mirror into her house. Merrill insists it's not evil, but wants our help in getting a magic knife from her old clan because Keeper Marethari still has this crazy idea that Merrill's flippant attitude toward demons is a bad thing. Hawke reluctantly agrees to help.

"Andaran Atish'an. Here's generic RPG quest #6. Now get moving. It's cold out here, and this outfit doesn't help."

The two of them head to Sundermount along with Aveline and Varric. Marethari is happy to see Merrill and assumes she has finally given up her foolish notion that demons are better than Dalish. Merrill disappoints her by invoking a Dalish rite entitling her to a favor of her choice if we perform a task of the Keeper's choosing. Marethari wearily admits that Merrill is allowed to do this and asks us to exterminate a menacing creature called a Varterrel that has killed a few of her hunters recently. Hawke accepts this task and heads into a nearby cave where the Varterrel and an embarassment of spiders lay in wait.

The cave is littered not only with spider ambushes, but also the bodies of Dalish hunters who have ventured here before us. Chickene remarks on the fact that the Keeper seems to have sent these elves to their deaths, but Merrill says the Varterrel isn't normally hostile and something must have provoked it. We're unconcerned with that mystery though, since our quest is to kill the beastie, not negotiate peace with it. Eventually, we find a surviving Dalish hunter among the bodies of his clan members but as soon as he sees that Merrill is with us, he tells us to stay back. Chickene yells at him at him for being foolish, and he runs off... right into the waiting pincers of the Varterrel.

"What? My name's not Pol! ...Oh, you're talking to my lunch. This is awkward."

This giant arachnid looks imposing and can summon plenty of spider allies to distract us, so Chickene stays close to his allies and keeps his Healing Aura active. Varric and Merrill need a little extra healing despite that, but Aveline absorbs most of the damage and the Varterrel finally falls. Merrill is distraught to find that her Dalish kinsman died trying to get away from her. Chickene tries to calm her, saying there was nothing she could have done, but Merrill is convinced that someone is spreading rumors that she's dangerous. So, we head back down to the camp to talk to the Keeper.

Merrill respectfully presents Marethari with the amulets of the fallen Dalish, but gets hostile when she mentions that one of them seemed to think she was a bigger threat than the Varterrel. Marethari says that the eluvian is dangerous and it was her duty as Keeper to tell the clan this. She then says that it's not too late for Merrill to change her mind. Merrill tells her she has upheld her end of the bargain and expects the Keeper to do the same. So, Marethari presents us with the Arulin'Holm (a fancy elven word for 'magic knife') and asks us on behalf of the Dalish to keep it away from Merrill.

"Shall I ask it who the fairest of them all is? ...No, I'd best not. Don't want to get sued, now."

Back at Merrill's house in Kirkwall, we find her sitting in front of her mirror, admiring it. We press her for information about it and she says that the shards were corrupted when she first found them. She found a "spirit" who helped her "purify" them... using blood magic. Chickene goes on another tirade about how blood magic is dangerous and could never possibly purify anything. Merrill insists that blood magic isn't inherently evil and asks us whether or not we're going to give her the magic knife. Chickene opts to stay on her good side and gives her the Dalish artifact.

With that, three more of our companions are relatively happy with us. There are a couple of other companion quests we could perform, but one of them is for Anders and since Chickene is the primary healer, I'm not too concerned about him. Isabela rarely gets invited to our party either, since Varric is our rogue of choice. So, Chickene decides that he's probably put off the Qunari crisis for long enough and resolves to fix that next. Easier said than done? Probably, but just how badly is it going to go for Hawke? We'll find out soon enough.